You just said what?! Uncouth Wine Terms in the Real World
We all know the wine world can be stuffy and exclusive.
Well, we’re here to lighten things up and show you why winos shouldn’t take themselves so seriously. Just take a look at these odd terms used by industry folk and wine lovers alike to describe wines. How can one be stuffy while describing their wine as hot and dirty with a long finish? You can’t! We’d get our hands slapped (or worse) if we used these terms in any other context. So, without further ado, let’s learn some new vocab.
Big nose – well how inappropriate of you to point it out! Actually though, when it comes to wine the bigger the nose, the better. A big nose means the wine has beautiful aromas jumping out of the glass.
Dense – you can use dense to describe cake, people and wine. We prefer our cake fluffy, people bright and wine drinkable! A dense wine is one that is closed off, or simply too young.
Dirty – everyone likes it a bit dirty. You can lie to us but don’t lie to yourself. Some of the “dirtiest” wines come from northern Italy, the Loire Valley and Burgundy. Notes of barnyard, wet leaves, and stinky feet are a dead giveaway.
Fat – touchy subject alert! Hunny, do I look fat in this? No! The answer is always ..No! Well sometimes if the wine doesn’t have enough acidity, has high alcohol and is fuller-bodied you just have to call a spade a spade.
Flabby – Sadly, just like in the real world fat and flabby go together. A fat wine is a flabby wine.
Hard – well, how do we broach this subject? It’s a wine with too much of everything, especially tannins and alcohol.
Hot – overly alcoholic. You can call your wine hot, just don’t do the same to your co-worker! (hello lawsuit waiting to happen!)
Long finish – it’s not considered kosher to discuss this bedroom topic, yet with wine, everyone likes to comment on it. In this case, a long finish equals out to the length in which you can still taste the wine after you had it.
Nutty – don’t you dare ever refer to your wife or girlfriend with this term but we welcome this flavour note in white and red wines
Pruny – think dried plums, not wrinkly skin
Robust – In the real world, robust can go either way! You can have a robust personality, or have a robust body. In this case, we’re talking full-bodied and intense which big reds are often referred to as.
Supple – Smooth, soft, round body. Oops! We mean wine.
Slutty – if you miss throwing this highschool term around just step foot into the wine world. We love to use it to describe ripe, approachable, uncomplicated wines.
Are there other terms we missed? Leave them in the comments below! We love to hear how you describe your wine.