Wine Stories: Practice Safe Sex with Wine Condoms

Wine deserves to feel safe too, doesn’t it?

Safe wine practices are always in style. You never know when your wine could accidentally get an ATD (air transferred disease). The most common wine ATD is oxygen, and it can kill any wine. The perfect solution? Wine condoms.

I know wine condoms may sound like a funny thing for a bottle of wine, but for those of you who have read my other articles relating screen-shot-2017-05-16-at-10-38-52-amwine to love (How Wine is Like Dating + My Love Letter to Mr. Brunello), it would make sense that I would talk about safe wine drinking practices. Besides, there may just be a circumstance (like below) where you may not finish the whole bottle of wine.

Wine Condoms claim to be “perfection for wine lovers“, and we think that they are the perfect way to keep a bottle of wine safe from an ATD. Other wine stoppers can take up too much room in the side panel of your fridge, but using a wine condom on your unfinished bottle of wine ensures that it fits perfectly.

The other great part about wine condoms is that they can be ordered online, so you don’t have to feel embarrassed about buying them. No need to stand in line anxiously hoping you don’t run into your ex or heaven forbid, your boss.

Oh, but just wait, there is more. Wine condoms actually look like real condoms, so they fit perfectly in your wallet.  Because you never know when you’ll surprisingly want to open a bottle of wine and have the “perfect solution” when you decide not to finish it. But let’s be serious, what’s the point if you don’t finish the bottle? Maybe the company wasn’t as good as you thought it was when you opened it…

What exactly is the point if you don’t finish that bottle of wine? I’ve heard a lot of people say that there is no such thing as an unfinished bottle of wine, can’t say I would disagree with them either. Every bottle of wine has a goal: for two people to enjoy 2.5 glasses of wine each,  that isn’t too much to ask for is it?! 😉

What happens when in a night of passion, you mistakenly pull out your handy wine condom instead of the other real type of condom?  But seriously now, many of you actually carry condoms in your wallet anyway right?????? Do it. Carry all the condoms because you never know when life will have you needing one. Imagine pulling a wine condom out of your wallet at just the perfect time, BAM! Now you’re a wine superstar!

Although we haven’t used these wine condoms yet, we can’t tell you personally about how they make us feel, although stumbling across them online did bring a lot of laughter to our office. So we went ahead and bought some just for research and development. 🙂